Mr Rabbit

[david1275]

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman,
'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?'
The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and
cheese toastie.

The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer,
and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.

The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub,
(because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the
Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leave


The next night, the pub is packed.

In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie,
please barman.'

 


The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie,
and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down



The next night there is standing room only in the pub.

Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending.

The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year 

In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie,
please barman,

The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right
out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties..' 

The rabbit looks aghast...

The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his
throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.'

The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are you sure I will like it.'

The masses' bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.

The barman, with a roguish smile says,

'Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you'll
love it.'   

'Ok', says the rabbit, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion
Toastie.'   

The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the
toastie.


He then waves to the crowd and leaves....

..NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!



One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who
has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time.

When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form,
floating above the bar.

The barman says, 'Who are you?',

To which he is answered,

'I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.'

The barman says, 'I remember you. You made me famous.

You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese
Toastie.

Masses came to see you and this place was famous.'

The rabbit says, 'Yes I know.'

The barman said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham
and Cheese Toasties..

You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.'

The rabbit said, 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it.

The barman said, 'You never came back, what happened?'

'I DIED' ,said the rabbit.

'NO!' said the barman. 'What from?'

After a short pause The rabbit said...


'Mixin-me-toasties'

[Ian]

     , I'll give you that one David. 

[Jericoke]

Must be a British thing.  I have no clue what the punchline means (and can only guess at what a toastie is... )

[Ian]

Jeri, a toastie is a toasted sandwich, but the punchline is the name of a rabbit disease.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myxomatosis

[Scott]

Never heard of the disease either...is this something every Brit knows?  Is it that common?
 

[Wizzo]

Is it that common?

It used to be, not sure about now though. I thought Mrs Wiz had it once the way she rabbits on. 

[Jericoke]

A man who has just buried his wife goes a drive on a lonely country road to be alone with his thoughts.  Suddenly something leaps in front of his car, and he hits it.  He slams on the brakes to investigate.  It turns out he's hit a rabbit.  Already distraught over his wife, he feels simply awful.  Then he notices that the rabbit is still alive.  

He gathers the animal up, and his heart leaps as he sees a farmhouse at the end of nearby drive.

He sprints up to the house and pounds on the door.  He explains his tale to the farmer.

The farmer smiles and says, "Don't worry about it.  Happens all the time.  I'll be right back."

The man waits nervously for a few minutes.  Finally the farmer comes back with something wrapped up.

The farmer gently puts the rabbit on the grass, takes the oily rag off some sort of can, and then sprays the rabbit.

The rabbit leaps up, looks around, sniffs the air, and hops away.

The man is overcome with joy at such a miracle!

Suddenly, the rabbit stops, turns, and waves.  Then continues on it's way.  After another 50 feet though, it stops again, turns, and waves.  In fact, the rabbit keeps doing this until it finally hops out of site in a field.

The man is a little confused, and turns to the farmer, "what the heck is in that can?"

The farmer wipes some grime off the can, and reads out, "restores hair, and gives it a permanent wave."

[judy]

I just remembered that Fisi hit a rabbit during practice session in one of the GP last year (I am not sure whether this happened in Spa) and one of the English mechanic in FI told him that it is an English believe that if you hit a rabbit, you will be very lucky. And Fisi joked during an interview that he will find some rabbits around the race circuits next time! 

[Ian]

Myxomatosis is still very common, we see loads of it in the countryside where I work, blind rabbits just banging against the railway track. We just dispose of them with a quick hard whack on the head with the spanner.

[Wizzo]

Don't suppose I could borrow that spanner Ian?? 

[Ian]

Tut tut Wiz, you should know better, Mrs Lisa is 1st in line, you can have it then.

[cosworth151]

Take it easy, guys. I still get really nervous when I hear the phrase, "The rabbit died." 

[Wizzo]

Mrs Lisa is 1st in line, you can have it then

No probs Ian, as long as its got your finger prints on it - I can wait