Product Warning

[Dare]

Actual Stupid Product Warnings Part 1
Don't know how authentic these are, but they're funny anyway (some editorial comments included):

On a lawnmower "WARNING WHEN MOTOR IS RUNNING- THE BLADE IS TURNING!" (No kidding!)

Blanket from Taiwan: "Not to be Used as Protection from Tornadoes"

Instructions on bottom of frozen pizza: "DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN!" (Oops! Too late!)

Korean kitchen knife: "Keep Out of Children" (Ouch!)

Warning on a curling iron: "Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice". (Were you trying to curl your nose hair?)

Packet of nuts: "Open package and eat nuts." (Duh!)

Seen on the bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle: "Do not open here."

On an Iron: "Warning: Never iron clothes while on body" (Well, forget about that short cut!)

Can of spray paint: "Do not spray in your face." (And just why would I want to do that?)

Bottle of Insect Spray: "Never tested on Animals!" (Not even on insects?)

Bathtub cleaner: "For best results, start with clean bathtub before use." (Why bother, then?)

Nytol sleep aid: "Warning: may cause drowsiness" (And I’m taking this because…?)

Lighter fluid: "WARNING: Contents flammable!" (I should hope so!)

Child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Rats!)

On a bottle of hand lotion: "Warning: Starts healing skin on contact." (Whew, thanks for warning me!)

Cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"

On a box of household nails: "CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!" (Understatement of the year)

Shampoo Bottle for Dogs: "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." (You mean that sudsy stuff I use to clean my pets isn’t fish food?)

Microwave popcorn is packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it. Direction #1 is "Remove plastic."

Curling Iron: "Warning: This product can burn eyes." (Too bad... I always wanted curly eyes.)

On a television commercial that says it cleans dentures 4 times better. Below in small print it said "Lab test: (their product) vs. water.

Midol PMS Relief: "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." (And just how many men have PMS?)

Blow dryer: "DO NOT BLOW DRY IN SLEEP" (No multi-tasking potential here.)

Package of Dice: "Not for human consumption." (Hmmphh, my mouth was all set for a nice pair of dice.)

Seen on the back of a drink bottle label: "Do not peel label off."

Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle: "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." (No kidding!)

On a Band-Aid box: "For serious injuries, seek medical attention."

Box of Bottle-Rockets: "Do not put in mouth." (Gives new meaning to the phrase “human cannonball”)

On a can of powdered infant formula: "Mix with water before serving." (Like I was going to feed this to my baby DRY?)

Toilet cleaner (I'd better not name the brand)
"Cleans and Kills Germs"
Why do the germs need to be cleaned?

[romephius]

Warning on the front of the Claymore Anti-Personnel Mine "Front - Face toward enemy"
I kid you not

[Ian]

Who makes the claymore. Is it us, across the pond or anywhere on license ?

[davewilson]

What do you want one for?
Blow up Virgin?

The Stig

[Ian]

Great idea Stig, never thought of that 

[Slugger]

Also on nuts packets - This product was produced in a factory that handles nuts lol

[cosworth151]

The hamburger wrapers at the Roy Roger's used to have a circle printed at the center of the inside with the words "Place sandwich here" in it.

I saw a folding kitchen step ladder with a sticker on the top - "Warning! Not for to stand!"

A bottle of shampoo - "Wash Rinse Repeat. Question?" then it listed an 800 phone number.

Over here, most of the TV adverts for thing like Viagra and Cealis have the small text "See our ad in Golf Digest" somewhere in them. That tells me all I need to know about golfers.

[Ian]

   Sticker on side of lighter :- Keep away from face !  Er, I want to light my cigarette, so how

                                   
 

[davewilson]

Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness

The Stig

[Ian]

Or the other way, My missus's cough mixture, non drowsy; contains chloroform. HONESTLY it does

[davewilson]

Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

The Stig

[Wizzo]

Or the other way, My missus's cough mixture, non drowsy; contains chloroform. HONESTLY it does

Ian, What brand?

Got to give the old girl some of that! 

[romephius]

Microwave steam vegetables warning "may be hot after heating, careful steam burns"

[davewilson]

Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery

The Stig