"Tech" Support

[Alianora La Canta]

Responses to the standard preamble ending with "How may I help you?" on the password desk at IT support:

"I want to go home and throw my work computer out of the window, into my neighbour's pool"

"I've forgotten my name."

"I'd like a massage, please."

"The winning 6 lottery numbers for this week, please."

"A five-minute chat about football so that my boss doesn't tell me to get back to work"

"I'm behind quota on my PPI mis-selling lawyer scheme and I hate my job. What do I do?"

"Switch my power back on, [expletive]"

"One barbeque chicken pizza, please" (and the related "I'd like to order some pizza, delivered hot, right now, to my office" which turned out to be thousands of miles away from the call centre)

"I'm supposed to sell you... ...something. I'll call back later when my boss tells me what it is."

"Give me someone who speaks English!" (note: the desk is based in the middle of England, by native British English-speakers)

And to take the biscuit:

"A character I liked died in the episode of Game of Thrones I watched that was actually broadcast last season. Can you fix it? I haven't got all day!"

[Scott]

 

[lkjohnson1950]