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Author Topic: why English is tough  (Read 6200 times)

Online Dare

why English is tough
« on: August 12, 2018, 12:03:52 AM »

Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn.
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?



Mark Twain once opined, "it's easier to con someone than to convince them they've been conned."

Offline Robem64

Re: why English is tough
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2018, 06:36:53 AM »
Sums it up nicely  :good:
"I'm not a pessimist, I'm an optimist with experience"

Offline John S

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Re: why English is tough
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2018, 08:22:00 AM »
You can take a bough for that one Dare.....or is it a bow?   :D
Racing is Life - everything else is just....waiting. (Steve McQueen)

Offline Alianora La Canta

Re: why English is tough
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2018, 08:35:32 AM »
20b. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests on the subject.

Edit (it gets worse/better):

20c. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests on the subject, subject to the subject's subject being the logical subject.

Yes, each "subject" is a different definition:

a - to impose
b - someone having something imposed upon them
c - a topic
d - provided that
e - someone's mind/ego/essence
f - material substance
g - main topic of a logical argument
« Last Edit: August 12, 2018, 09:02:02 AM by Alianora La Canta »
Percussus resurgio
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Offline cosworth151

Re: why English is tough
« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2018, 05:48:33 PM »
Not only that, but we drive on a parkway then park on a driveway.
“You can search the world over for the finer things, but you won't find a match for the American road and the creatures that live on it.”
― Bob Dylan

Offline John S

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Re: why English is tough
« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2018, 08:27:19 PM »
Not only that, but we drive on a parkway then park on a driveway.


You might in the Colonies but we ain't allowed to drive on our Parkways, Cos, we have to ride a train as they're rail stations  ::) 

What you call a Parkway to us is an Avenue.  :P

Racing is Life - everything else is just....waiting. (Steve McQueen)

Offline Alianora La Canta

Re: why English is tough
« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2018, 11:29:26 PM »
Unless you're talking about that great John Williams tune, "Parkway". It was designed for driving to, but nobody objects if you park to it either because it's music ;)
Percussus resurgio
@lacanta (Twitter)
http://alianoralacanta.tumblr.com (Blog/Tumblr)

Online Dare

Re: why English is tough
« Reply #7 on: August 13, 2018, 02:04:24 AM »
Not only that, but we drive on a parkway then park on a driveway.


You might in the Colonies but we ain't allowed to drive on our Parkways, Cos, we have to ride a train as they're rail stations  ::) 

What you call a Parkway to us is an Avenue.  :P


Roads here might be called Streets,Avenue's, Parkways,or Lanes.I'm sure there's more. Highways too or is that two or maybe to
Mark Twain once opined, "it's easier to con someone than to convince them they've been conned."

Offline lkjohnson1950

Re: why English is tough
« Reply #8 on: August 13, 2018, 06:07:21 AM »
Round these parts we got trails, courts, circles, and stravenues.
Lonny

Offline Monty

Re: why English is tough
« Reply #9 on: September 03, 2018, 10:35:42 AM »
Two of these are too funny to be good for one's health

guest3164

  • Guest
Re: why English is tough
« Reply #10 on: September 09, 2018, 09:05:13 AM »
I trained as a Primary School Teacher and trying to teach English phonetically is nigh on impossible.  Sound out the individual letters and then get the children to blend them and then tell them actually the word sounds completely different.  It's a nightmare!  Then with the regional differences (Grass v Grarse) and it becomes even more interesting.  No wonder I preferred to work in a Cathedral. 

Offline Alianora La Canta

Re: why English is tough
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2018, 09:19:25 AM »
The basis of Received Pronounciation (that is to say, formal British) English can be taught phonetically, in that there are 45 sounds in the language and these are consistently associated with certain letter combinations. The problem is when the exceptions show up, because English has had so many different influences that it's hard to know which exception applies.
Percussus resurgio
@lacanta (Twitter)
http://alianoralacanta.tumblr.com (Blog/Tumblr)

Offline Monty

Re: why English is tough
« Reply #12 on: September 20, 2018, 02:21:02 PM »
It used to be that we could rely on the BBC to get the correct Pronunciation but now even Auntie B caters for local dialect and in some cases international tones. Therefore the BBC will tell us about a carsel (Castle) in New Cassel (Newcastle); or send a report from Beyching (Beijing); or Saragother (Zaragoza) and yet they still call Paris - Paris not Paree. Confused of London!

Offline cosworth151

Re: why English is tough
« Reply #13 on: September 20, 2018, 03:12:54 PM »
Not at all. Local pronunciation is one thing, but kowtowing to the French?   :nono:
“You can search the world over for the finer things, but you won't find a match for the American road and the creatures that live on it.”
― Bob Dylan

Offline lkjohnson1950

Re: why English is tough
« Reply #14 on: September 20, 2018, 03:49:44 PM »
We kowtow to the Chinese by calling Peking Bay-jing these days. They're not even our friends.   :DntKnw:
Lonny

 


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