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The limits of IT support

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Alianora La Canta:
Snippets from various conversations at previous employers, showing the limitations of telephone-based IT support:

Conversation #1:

“Sorry, I cannot deliver pizza to you. I work for a computer company.”

Conversation #2:

“This British computer repair company is not, in fact, a computer game conference in India - and even if we were, we could not physically help you with the fact that a tree has fallen on your local power line in Canada.”

Conversation #3:

“No, I still cannot deliver pizza to you. Everyone in this building works for a computer company.”

Conversation #4:

“Unfortunately, I cannot change the ending of the episode of [famous controversial TV episode]. Having no connection with any of the parties involved in producing it prevents this and, besides, the episode broadcast over a year ago.”

Conversation #5:

“No, I really cannot deliver pizza to you. You are over 4000 miles away; by the time it arrived, the pizza would be cold.“   

Conversation #6:

“Coffee cannot be delivered down a telephone line”.

Conversation #7:

“Seriously, I cannot deliver pizza to you. I have checked the map on my computer and it would take over half a day to arrive. By then, you will have got something else to eat and not want to eat the pizza any more. And the pizza will still be cold.”

Conversation #8:

“If your computer is smoking, don’t plug more things into it. Turn it off instead.“

Conversation #9:

“My refusal to deliver pizza to you does not literally make me a kangaroo. It means you should try ordering from a pizza place in your city.”

cosworth151:
Love #8. I can picture that happening.

lkjohnson1950:
`Had a nice Dell computer once. I decided to add memory, there were slots available. So I went from 4G to 8G. Shortly after the motherboard literally went up in smoke. Fried 3 or 4 components on the board. Had to buy a new desktop since it was cheaper than a new motherboard.

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