Funny News Headlines

[Dare]

Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Farmer Bill Dies in House
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Stud Tires Out
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
Include your Children when Baking Cookies
War Dims Hope for Peace
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Eye Drops off Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in 84
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

[Alianora La Canta]

  These were really, really funny, dare.

[cosworth151]

^^^ ^^^