Global economics

[Dare]

GLOBAL ECONOMICS DE-MYSTIFIED


SOCIALISM:
You have two cows, and you give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM:
You have two cows, the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:
You have two cows, the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM:
You have two cows, the Government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:
You have two cows, the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the otherand throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, andthe economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clevercow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eatonce a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim fullemployment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

A DUTCH CORPORATION
STOP: The cows are not ready yet

[Alianora La Canta]

I must have read that about four times (the first time in Year 9 Humanities to explain the difference between socialism, capitalism and fascism) and it's still funny!