GPWizard F1 Forum
Fun Stuff => Pictures & Jokes => Topic started by: Dare on August 12, 2018, 12:03:52 AM
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Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn.
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
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Sums it up nicely :good:
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You can take a bough for that one Dare.....or is it a bow? :D
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20b. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests on the subject.
Edit (it gets worse/better):
20c. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests on the subject, subject to the subject's subject being the logical subject.
Yes, each "subject" is a different definition:
a - to impose
b - someone having something imposed upon them
c - a topic
d - provided that
e - someone's mind/ego/essence
f - material substance
g - main topic of a logical argument
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Not only that, but we drive on a parkway then park on a driveway.
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Not only that, but we drive on a parkway then park on a driveway.
You might in the Colonies but we ain't allowed to drive on our Parkways, Cos, we have to ride a train as they're rail stations ::)
What you call a Parkway to us is an Avenue. :P
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Unless you're talking about that great John Williams tune, "Parkway". It was designed for driving to, but nobody objects if you park to it either because it's music ;)
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Not only that, but we drive on a parkway then park on a driveway.
You might in the Colonies but we ain't allowed to drive on our Parkways, Cos, we have to ride a train as they're rail stations ::)
What you call a Parkway to us is an Avenue. :P
Roads here might be called Streets,Avenue's, Parkways,or Lanes.I'm sure there's more. Highways too or is that two or maybe to
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Round these parts we got trails, courts, circles, and stravenues.
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Two of these are too funny to be good for one's health
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I trained as a Primary School Teacher and trying to teach English phonetically is nigh on impossible. Sound out the individual letters and then get the children to blend them and then tell them actually the word sounds completely different. It's a nightmare! Then with the regional differences (Grass v Grarse) and it becomes even more interesting. No wonder I preferred to work in a Cathedral.
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The basis of Received Pronounciation (that is to say, formal British) English can be taught phonetically, in that there are 45 sounds in the language and these are consistently associated with certain letter combinations. The problem is when the exceptions show up, because English has had so many different influences that it's hard to know which exception applies.
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It used to be that we could rely on the BBC to get the correct Pronunciation but now even Auntie B caters for local dialect and in some cases international tones. Therefore the BBC will tell us about a carsel (Castle) in New Cassel (Newcastle); or send a report from Beyching (Beijing); or Saragother (Zaragoza) and yet they still call Paris - Paris not Paree. Confused of London!
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Not at all. Local pronunciation is one thing, but kowtowing to the French? :nono:
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We kowtow to the Chinese by calling Peking Bay-jing these days. They're not even our friends. :DntKnw:
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But we (you and I) aren't Brits. The Beeb is. ;)
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It used to be that we could rely on the BBC to get the correct Pronunciation but now even Auntie B caters for local dialect and in some cases international tones. Therefore the BBC will tell us about a carsel (Castle) in New Cassel (Newcastle); or send a report from Beyching (Beijing); or Saragother (Zaragoza) and yet they still call Paris - Paris not Paree. Confused of London!
On a recent episode of Pointless, a contestant infamously declared Paris to be a country ending in two vowels.
I don't think the BBC is in much of a position to change people's opinions of what Paris is. People are prepared to admit they don't know Beijing/Peking or Zaragoza all that well (I'm not sure what else Zaragoza would be called, and I'm pretty sure nearly everyone educated in British state schools who is younger than me was raised without ever being told Beijing had a former name), and so are more prepared to accept the BBC's way of saying it. (The BBC has, in the last 25 years, taken an attitude of localism, and applied it where possible to international as well as local places).
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(The BBC has, in the last 25 years, taken an attitude of localism, and applied it where possible to international as well as local places).
I wonder how they would pronounce Toronto. Most Canadians say it pretty phonetically: tore ON toe. Torontonians, on the other had, run it together: ch'RANnah.
The best is when local newscasters or politicians slow down and ensure they say "tore ON toe". It's like they've switched to a different language for one word.
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(The BBC has, in the last 25 years, taken an attitude of localism, and applied it where possible to international as well as local places).
I wonder how they would pronounce Toronto. Most Canadians say it pretty phonetically: tore ON toe. Torontonians, on the other had, run it together: ch'RANnah.
The best is when local newscasters or politicians slow down and ensure they say "tore ON toe". It's like they've switched to a different language for one word.
BBC, from what I've heard, says it phonetically.