Home Remedies

[Dare]

 If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.

Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by
simply peeing in the sink.

High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be
afraid to cough.

Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget
about the tooth ache.

And Finally...Be Really Good To Your Family and Friends. You never know=
when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan!