Piano player

[Dare]

 
There was a ragged, old, retired Battleship Gunners Mate Senior Chief who shuffled into a waterfront bar.
Stinking of whisky and cigarettes, his hands shook as he took the "Piano Player Wanted" sign from the window and handed it to the bartender. "I'd like to apply for the job," he said.
 

The barkeep wasn't too sure about this doubtful looking old Squid, but it had been quite awhile since he had a piano player and business was falling off.
So, the barkeep decided to give him a try.

 

The old Senior Chief staggered his way over to the piano while several patrons snickered. But, by the time he was into the third bar of music, every voice was silenced. What followed was a rhapsody of sound and music, unlike anyone had heard in the bar before.
When he finished there wasn't a dry eye in the place.

 

The bartender took the old Senior Chief a beer and asked him the name of the song he had just played.
"It's called, 'Drop Your Skivvies, Baby!, We're Gonna Rock Tonight'," said the old Senior Chief after he took a long pull from the beer.

 

The bartender and the crowd winced, but the piano player went on with a knee-slapping, hand-clapping bit of ragtime that had the place jumping. After he finished, the Senior Chief acknowledged the applause and told the crowd the song was called, "Big Boobs Make My Anchor Chain Run Out."
He then excused himself as he lurched off to the head.

 

When the guy came out of the head, the bartender went over to him and said, "Look Senior Chief, the job is yours, but do you know your fly is open and your pecker is hanging out?"

 

"Know it?" the old Senior Chief replied, "Hell, I wrote it."