You know your kinky when

[Dare]

YOU KNOW YOU'RE KINKY WHEN...

 

- You keep the ACE Hardware catalog with your other pornography.

- You were always disappointed that the book Of Human Bondage wasn't.

- Sticks & stones may break your bones, but that's an acceptable risk.

- You call people other than your Father "Daddy."

- Reading the word spanking makes you blush.

- Your first, favorite scout badge was for knot tying.

- You moved to Oregon so you could wear more raincoats.

- Kitchen utensils are found in your bedroom.

- Tack shops: Not just for equestrians anymore.

- You own and use handcuffs, but aren't employed in law enforcement.

- Your contracts involve punishments, but no money.

- You hear about a Bridal Fashion Show to be held in your town, and you think, "Cool! I've always wanted to see what pony gear looks like ON someone!"

- You give a new song a rating of 65. It's got a good beat and you can squirm to it.

- You start to salivate and get aroused as you pass the local candle factory.

- You see a sign in front of a house that reads, Chairs Caned, and you stop to see if the poor guy needs a PERSON to cane.

- Citibank calls you because someone used your credit card to make a huge purchase at a tack shop in another state, and they know that you live in a metropolitan area and don't own a horse.

- You make your vacation destination decisions based on that area's Assault and Battery, Consent, and Sexual Deviance laws.

- Your Avon Representative politely informs you that the company has no plans to make that Eau de Leather scent you have been pestering them about.

- Your son's Boy Scout Troop thinks you are way cool because you helped them earn their merit badge for knot tying.

[cosworth151]

-Instead of a feather, you use the entire chicken.

-You're President of the FIA (Sorry, but someone had to say it)