Don't You Hate...

[Dare]

From MAD Magazine Issue 154, October 1972



... being the only one caught speeding when you were just going as fast as everyone else.

... getting into the "Exact Change Only" lane and ending up behind a guy who finds he hasn't got the exact change.

... when something happens the day after you let your comprehensive insurance expire.

... the nauseating smell of gasoline that wafts forward to tell you that they've over-filled your tank again.

... "One Way" and "No Turn" signs that take you miles out of your way. ... bumpers that are higher than yours.

... repair shops that always have to order the part you desperately need. ... finally getting into that moving lane only to find that it abruptly stops ... and your old one moves from then on.

... a convertible top that invariably fails to operate whenever there's a sudden cloudburst.

... lending your car to someone ... and after it's returned, the engine makes a strange sound you've never heard before.

... car radios that fade out at critical moments.

... finding a vacant space where you parked your car.

... strange noises that always disappear the minute you take your new car back to the dealer ... and re-appear again right after you leave.

... having to go to the bathroom on one of those new treeless, bushless, exitless super-highways.

... hearing the unmistakable sound of a failing engine when you're right smack in the middle of the worst section of town.

... people who carelessly track whatever they stepped into right into your brand new car.

... know-it-all mechanics who insist that it's perfectly okay to do exactly the opposite - or use other parts - than what the manufacturer of your car specifically recommends.

... people who let kids eat in your new car.

... two cars that take up three parking spaces.

... glimpsing your car keys in the ignition just as you're slamming the locked car door.

... getting a flat tire in the middle of nowhere when you're dressed to the hilt.

... lending someone your car with a full tank of gas - and having it returned with exactly two drops left.

... your new car's air conditioner that conks out during the first heat wave.

... reminding you of how the heater conked out during the first cold wave.

... being trapped between two huge trucks ... and having to go miles beyond your turn-off.

... forgetting where you parked your car in a 10,000 car parking lot. ... finding a strange new puddle in your garage.

... gas station attendants who act like they're doing you the biggest favor in the world when they finally get to you.

... returning to your car the next morning just as the last faint glimmer of light fades from your headlights.