Healing Jesus

[Wizzo]

A bartender was washing his glasses, and an elderly Irishman came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.

The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus sitting down there?" The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also.

The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting down there. The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti also.

The third patron, a chav, swaggered in dragging his knuckles on the floor and hollered.

"Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God's Boy down there?" The barkeep nodded, and the chav told him to give Jesus a cold one too.

As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up and danced a jig to the door.

Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten and he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door.

As Jesus walked toward the chav, the chav jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me, I'm drawin' disability!"