Library Complaint (one for Ali)

[Wizzo]

Judi stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"

"What was wrong with it?"

"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!"

The librarian nodded and said, "Ah. So you must be the person who took our phone book."

[CrazyHorse]

 

[Alianora La Canta]

 

How's this one?

Customer: "Hello. Please could you tell me if this library has a globe?"
Librarian: "Certainly. It's over there."
Customer: "That one's not quite big enough. I'd like to borrow a life-size one."
Librarian: [pause] "I'm really sorry. It's in use at the moment."

[cosworth151]

And yet another -

What goes "Ssssh!"   CHOP!   "Ssssh!"   CHOP!

Conan the Librarian.   

[Ian]

A guy goes up to the librarian and asks for a book on suicide, the librarian saye p!ss off, you won't bring it back

[Mitch14]

nice one ian

[Ian]

Wife to husband.....I don't mind you reading in bed, but when you wanna turn the page can't you just lick your finger.

[Mitch14]

once again nice one ian there getting better

[Alianora La Canta]

Update: I can start my librarian assistant job next Monday. Can't start it before then because a really degenerate library user stole lead off the roof.

Returning to the jokes (courtesy of libraryjokes4u.com):

How many academic librarians does it take to change a light bulb?
Just five. One changes the light bulb while the other four form a committee and write a letter of protest to the Dean, because after all, changing light bulbs IS NOT professional work!

How many catalogers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but they have to wait to see how LC does it first.

How many cataloguers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one provided it is in AACR2.

How many reference librarians does it take to change a light-bulb?
(with a perky smile) "Well, I don't know right off-hand, but I know where we can look it up!"

How many reference librarians does it take to change a lightbulb? None if it has a LCSH heading.

How many library system managers does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them as the manual was lost in the last move (or flood).

How many library managers does it take to change a lightbulb? At least one committee and a light bulb strategy focus meeting and plan.

How many library technicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Seven. One to follow approved procedure, and six to review the procedure. (8 if you count the librarian they all report to)

[Ian]

Keep it up Ali, 

[Mitch14]

like them ali very good

[Alianora La Canta]

How many public librarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two - Health and Safety says that only an Estates Management Assistant can change lightbulbs, but he still needs one librarian to supervise him and another to fill in the paperwork...

[Alianora La Canta]

Having just had my first day of work at my new library, I would like to tell you the following information:

In reference to the Wiz's original joke, nobody could steal the phone book as it is kept under lock and key at the reference desk. There are so many keys that nobody can remember which one opens the drawer with the phone book. Not that any library patron wants the phone book anyway, because the only phone the public can use charges a minimum of 50p a time, because it has delusions of faxmachineur.

[Neil.P]

Good one Ali, hope you enjoyed your first day at your new job

Neil.P

[Dare]

Glad to see you finally started Ali


                   hope you like it