A businessman was having a drink in a bar. He was feeling a bit down on his luck, and he was hitting the top shelf stuff a bit harder than usual. This attracted the attention of a prossie who thought he'd be an easy mark.
She walked up to him, stroked his arm and asked if he'd like to buy her a drink. "Sure, why not," the businessman said, hardly looking up. They had another couple of rounds, and in that time the prostitute got so flirty that she basically ended up sitting in his lap.
"So, where do we go from here?" asked the businessman.
"Depends," said the hooker. "I usually charge $100 for an hour - or you can have the special offer."
"Special offer? What's that?" asked the bloke.
"That's where you give me $250 and i'll do anything you can say in three words," cooed the prossie.
"I'll take that," beamed the bloke, who then said, "Paint... my... house."