5 Best British Insults

[Dare]

My favorite is 3 ever since Will Power called Franchitti one.My least
favorite has to be 5


Well how do you do? Postively fantastic to see you. I’m from good old Blighty, and you Americans seem to think it absolutely charming to consider me Her Majesty’s loyal subject. Well, you’re a wazzock.

What’s a wazzock? Oh, of course, you don’t know! Better get you taught up on the five best uses of the Mother Tongue to insult you Yankee Doodle Dandies…

1. Twit

The word twit is such a good British insult. It’s reprehensible; you can hear the revolution in the way you have to twist your mouth to say it. It means idiot, essentially, but it’s more demeaning than just that. It has hints of “little man” alongside it. When you’re a twit, you’re not long for the world.

It comes from atwite in Old English, which meant to reproach. First coined in the 1520s, it wasn’t until 1934 when it was first recorded in its modern sense.

If you didn’t know that, you’re a twit.


This is a popular children's book. We start our insulting early in Britain

2. Nincompoop

Nincompoop is actually a legal phrase, believe it or not (yes, we Brits love our insults to come from the courts – it’s the best way). Non compos mentis means not of right mind in Latin, and that’s where we get nincompoop according to Dr. Johnson, who was more than willing to call a number of people precisely that.

Our insults are learned, unlike yours. Take that, nincompoop.

3. w**ker

We need to get one thing right first off. w**ker’s kind of a swear word in Britain. It’s not used in polite conversation. If you’re calling someone a w**ker, you need to be prepared to back it up when they get angry at you.

Just a personal plea. Don’t use it in front of British grannies when you come to London. It’ll shock them.

It of course means one who wanks; it’s a sexually-demeaning insult, which are always the best kinds.


This man, says Facebook, is called 'Wazzock Bob'.
4. Wazzock

A lot of the insults outlined so far have reached America already. Wazzock I think isn’t one of them, and it’s one which really should be used more often. There’s something about the spiky consonants crashing against each other which make this insult all the more venomous. It could come from Northern English attempts to say “wiseacre”, someone who pretends to know-it-all but can’t back it up.

5. Yank

Well, we hate the Americans, don’t we. Perhaps the worst insult you can call a man is a Yank. Tread carefully with your usage, you utterly shameful Yank.