Grooming Tips

[Wizzo]

Whatever your grooming problem, I've got a quick fix solution. This list was originally formulated after my first meeting with Neil. 

1 Furry teeth
On the hop without a toothbrush? Then munch on an apple instead.  The fibrous fruit will act like a toothbrush. If you're on a date then order a margarita, dip the lime in the salt and rub it across your teeth.
 
2 Puffy eyes
Stick two tablespoons in the fridge for five minutes and place them over your eyes and leave for a minute. Then lightly tap around your eye socket with your fingertips - this will stimulate the drainage of toxins.

3 Large pores
Shrink them by dabbing a slice of lemon over your face. It works as a natural toner and will help tighten and close the pores temporarily.

4 Cold sores
As disgusting as this sounds, dab some earwax on the area at the first sign of a tingle - it'll moisturise and protect the skin.

5 Spots
Cover with a little toothpaste. The detergents in the paste have a degreasing effect and will help dry out the offender. Leave on for a couple of minutes and rinse off with cold water to reduce the inflammation.

6 Dog breath
Chew on some sugar free gum to help saliva production and flush away bacteria. Try breathing through your nose rather than your mouth too - it helps prevent your saliva drying out.

7 Flyaway hair
Root in your girlfriend's handbag for some hairspray, coat a folded tissue with a little and smooth over the hairs. If it's really bad, smooth over with one of those fabric-softening sheets you bung in your wash.

8 Excess aftershave
If everyone you talk to starts sneezing then you might have overdone the aftershave. Dilute the fragrance quickly by patting your skin with a warm wet towel.

9 Bad BO
Don't try to disguise it by spraying on more deodorant. Instead nip to the loo and wash your armpits with a hand towel and water. The trick is to remove the odour-causing bacteria, rubbing a little alcohol into your pits can help too as it closes the pores.

10 Greasy hair
Rub a little baking powder, talc or cornflower into the roots to absorb the oil and comb out the excess.

11 Razor cuts
Don't dab with tissue or you'll keep the wound open. Instead clean the cut quickly and dab some Vaseline over it. It will seal it instantly and stop the bleeding.

[Neil.P]

I ain't gonna forgive you for this one Wizard

Neil.P