Yugo jokes for our Cos

[Dare]

Most of the jokes are pretty lame but
what the hech it's a slow Saturday






        Q: How do you upgrade a Yugo car?
       A: Put in an engine.
        A. "TRADE IT FOR A TRABBIE"   (the late great Roosian "people's car")
        A. "PARK IT NEXT TO A PORTAJOHN.....AND LEAVE IT UNLOCKED"
        A. "CRUSH IT AND USE IT FOR TRACTION BALLAST IN YOUR BIG DOG 4X4 PICKEMUP TRUCK"
        Q: Why do Yugos have heated rear windows?
        A: To keep your hands warm when you're pushing them.

        Q. What's the difference between a Yugo and the principal's office?
A. It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's
       office.

        Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Yugo user's manual?
        A: The train & bus schedule.

        A man goes to a parts garage:
        Man: "Can I have a windshield wiper for a Yugo please?"
        Parts man: "Yeah, that seems like a fair swap."

        Q: What is the sport-version of Yugo?
        A: The driver wears Nike shoes.

        Q: What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill?
        A: A miracle.

        Q: What do you call two Yugos at the top of a hill?
        A: A mirage.

        Q: What do you call a Yugo with dual exhausts?
        A: A wheelbarrow

        Q: How do you double the value of a Yugo?
        A: Half fill it with gasoline!

        Q: How do you make a Yugo look good?
        A: Park it between two Cadillacs!

        Q: What to you call a Yugo with brakes?
        A: Customized.

        Q: What do you have to do if your Yugo gets in the way of a swarm of killer
        bees?
        A: Stop pushing and take refuge into the car.

        Q: What is the Yugo owner's most ardent wish?
        A: To buy a car.

        Q: What do you call a Yugo with a seat belt?
        A: A rucksack.

        Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster uphill?
        A: Throw out the passenger.

        Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster downhill?
        A: Turn off the engine.

        Q: What do you call a Yugo with a flat tire?
        A: A write off.

        STOP THE PRESS!!
        Yugo has announced a new 16 Valve model for 1993.
        8 in the engine, 8 in the radio.

        - I can see you've got a new car - a Yugo!
        - Yes, I won the second prize in a lottery.
        - What was the first prize then?
        - A fruit-basket!

        Yugo will be introducing three new vehicles next year.   They will have a moped called an "I Go". They will have a
         4-door called a "We Go". They will also have a new station wagon called the "Y'all Go".

[cosworth151]

How many cars have you had that out-lasted the country they were built in?

Or been the subject of an art expo?

http://magliery.com/Graphics/YugoArt/

"CRUSH IT AND USE IT FOR TRACTION BALLAST IN YOUR BIG DOG 4X4 PICKEMUP TRUCK"

See pix below

[Dare]

 

Rolls-Royce vs. Yugo
A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce.

He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got a phone in my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls looked over and said snobbishly, "Yes, I have a phone."

The driver of the Yugo said, "Cool! Hey, you also got a fridge in there, too? I've got one in the back seat of my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, much annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."

The driver of the Yugo said, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, quite irritated by now, replied, "Of course, I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"

The driver of the Yugo said, "Yes, a very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, upset that he did not have a bed, sped away and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered a bed to be installed in the back of his Rolls-Royce.

The next morning, he returned to pick up his car, and the bed looked superb It came complete with silk sheets and a brass-trimmed headboard. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls-Royce. So the driver of the Rolls began searching for the Yugo. He drove around all day and finally found the Yugo late that night.

It was parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. He got out and knocked on the window of the Yugo. When there wasn't any answer, he continued knocking and knocking until finally, the owner of the Yugo lowered the window, and stuck his soaking wet head out.

"I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly.

The driver of the Yugo looked at him narrowly and said, "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!?!" 
 

[cosworth151]

LOL

Funny you should mention that, Dare. I found a pix on a Yugo owners' website of the interior of a Yugo 45 Koral. I told Claw_grrrl I was thinking about doing this to mine. It's so straight forward and simple. I'm not sure the Lambo doors would work in my garage.

The pink is a bit much, though.

[Scott]

Are they so fragile they need 50 different dials and readouts so you don't blow it up or something?  I can't even think of enough places for sensors to be put in for all those dials.  yeeesh!