They Actually Pay People to Do This Research?

[Wizzo]

Two scientists from Britain's University of Oxford, on a three-year study costing the equivalent of nearly $500,000, found that ducks may be even more comfortable standing under a sprinkler than paddling around in a pond. Lead researcher Marian Stamp Dawkins concluded that ducks basically just like water. 

According to research announced in May by pediatrics professor Jennie Noll of the University of Cincinnati, the more often that teenage girls tart themselves up in online presentations, the greater the sexual interest they provoke. 

[John S]

Where do these mickey takers get the idea that they are scientists, sounds more like student pranks to me. Whoever gave them $500,000 wants their head examined. 

Oh but wait, the authorisor probably has a doctorate or professorship and will have no idea of real life outside academia, so whats the bloody point. 

[david1275]

I have conducted many years of research myself, and am now ready to publish my results.

If take a perfectly healthy fit 18 year old man, introduce him to women, beer and good food, give him a car so he doesn't have to walk anywhere anymore. Mix in a taste of marriage, two kids and a mortgage, and simmer for fifteen years. What do you get?? A fat stressed middle aged bloke with no money!! ME!

[cosworth151]

A while back, there was a high priced study of why children fall off tricycles. Guess what they found.\:

Tricycles have three wheels!

I arrived at the same conclusion when my daughter was young, and, a few years ago, re-confirmed my findings with my grand daughter.

So when do I get my grant?